Wednesday, November 10, 2004


The Liberal's Burden

Given the current tone and content emanating from Kerry, Pelosi, Reid and many other liberals in politics and Hollywood, I am surprised that they have not commissioned some intellectual writer to update Rudyard Kipling's The White Man's Burden.

Why this particular work? Because, like the aforementioned liberals and most of their ardent supporters, it was written from a perspective that those who know better (in this case, liberals with a superiority complex and world view) have a tremendous burden to help those who are ignorant (in this case, Christians who vote Republican). Additionally, the tone of Kipling's work is condescending like much of the verbal reaction from the left has been in regards to the re-election of the president.

So, since the left is calling on those of us on the right to reach out, heal and unite America, I have taken on a bit of the burden for them by updating Kipling's work below (it's a joke, so LIGHTEN up!):

The Liberal's Burden

Take up the Liberal's burden-
Send forth the best you breed-
Bind your offspring to red state exile
To serve your enemies' need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On grassy knolls and wild-
Your oft-fought, sullen right-wingers,
Half-Christian and half-child.

Take up the Liberal's burden-
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
Not like the lofty Kerry
Whose logic some did pain.
Common-sense shall be your creed
in discussions with your foes
Since your Enlightement they need!

Take up the Liberal's burden-
For open borders you shall fight;
One language is not the way;
One culture cannot unite.
Ol' Chomsky will rule the day,
When bloggers no longer do;
And use the power of boycott
To crush right-wing radio too!

Take up the Liberal's burden-
And reap a U.N. reward;
Your "tolerance" shall sustain you;
Your words will be your sword.
And when the elephant surrenders,
And you think your work is done.
Remember the Guantanamo prisoners,
Whose freedom must still be won!

Take up the Liberal's burden-
Back Kennedy with all your might,
So the likes of Peter Beinart
Will praise you all the night.
Watch Farenheit when your weary;
And with those liberal thoughts on view,
Let your opinions not become dreary,
Shout them out like ol' Dean of Yahoo!

Take up the Liberal's burden-
Cry, "Voter fraud is here!"
Prepare for your '08 victory,
With a fine imported beer.
And when your goal is nearest,
The end that Al Gore sought,
Sue them once and yet again,
And Florida you will have bought!

Take up the Liberal's burden-
Because even though you lost,
The winners are the losers,
And secession might be the cost.
But if values can help us win,
Let us define them as we must,
With Machiavellian logic,
And in Hillary we trust!


edited at 1:30 p.m.

I'd rather eat lima beans

The Jones Soda Company is selling a unique five-pack starting tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. PST. It has all the flavors of Thanksgiving, including a Turkey and gravy soda. I don't know if this is more funny or more revolting.


edited at 1:40 p.m.

Mike and Friends

Michael Moore has been answered with this picture found on the web composed from Bush campaign pictures. I originally came across it at Moore Watch where a smaller version is easier to view.

Of course, if you are liberal burdened by the election, and if you feel the need to say "I'm sorry" to the world, then post your contrite picture at Sorry Everybody.

Of course, if you are not sorry, then go to I am not sorry.


edited at 5:00 p.m.

First the Arlen Specter headache, and now President Bush does the fandango (sp.?) on the head of conservatives. Is he trying to get the right to stay home during the battle to be the next president in 2008?

Finally, to all members of the U.S.M.C.: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"


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